I miss her so much still. The feeling does not get any less and the memories of her have not faded away even with the passing of years. I wish she had lived long enough for my son to meet and get to know her. Because I know he would have enjoyed the person that she was as much as I had. But God knows the number of our days and hers was a good 78 years.
My mom left behind for her family, a legacy of
love. Those were the four words someone had said to me at her funeral and it
spoke a lot about who she was as a person. She loved and had been loved, not
just by her family but by other people. It was not enough that she had
children and grand children of her own, she had also accepted several others
who had asked to be her foster children. What an amazing lady my mom was! They
must have seen in her something that drew them close.
Her last born, I grew up surrounded by
her care and concern (my late dad was also like that towards me). And that did not end with me
starting life as a working adult and later, as a married woman and until the
last weeks of her life when she knew I was carrying her youngest grandchild.
I was very close to my mother. It was easy to share with her my feelings. Her
hugs were warm, with arms opened wide to embrace me with a kiss on my
cheek when I got home from work. She would stand at the kitchen door,
this tall, large smiling pretty lady with dimples, happy to see me, just as I
her; and a hot bowl of whatever she was cooking that day already waiting on the
table for me to consume. Oh, mom, I miss you so as I write this!
If I happened to sleep next to her and sometimes, yes on mattresses in the
living room because of watching TV together (!); I would feel her warm hands
caressing my face as I slept.
Her neigbours were her friends and she
was generous with them. Our family home in a small town was surrounded by
neigbours of a different race and culture and she was especially good buddy
with one beetle nut chewing lady living on a small hill across our home. Mom
was often teased by us for using her loud booming voice whenever she wanted to
call her friend to join her for food or to take something home.
When Mom moved down to stay with us in the city, it was the same. Neigbours
were friends. If I did not see her at home, I knew where to look, especially if
I wanted to take her out during the weekend. She was out of the neighbour's
house in a jiffy when I came looking for her. We just loved going out together,
for dim sum breakfast or even just to the supermarket to window shop and simply
just to get a bag of sweets to share together.
That was the kind of mother I had.
She was a really fun person to be with. A person who did not want to admit to old age
or perhaps she just did not feel old. A daring one who thought she could still
jump across a drain without falling down and injuring herself. A forever young
at heart lady who preferred to be with younger people rather than those her own
age. An adventurous one who loved to travel and who at one time, had gone on
her own to seek out food at night stalls in Hong Kong without letting the
frantic tour guide know. I could go on and on recalling all that I knew of this
wonderful lady I am grateful to God to have been able to call my mother, my
dear mama.
She
had indeed left a legacy of love for me - to remember and to now show to my
son. I love my son the way my mom had loved me. I hope my hugs are as warm and
as comforting as hers were, and my caressing of his face and kisses on his
forehead, tells of a mother's love. And I want him to know I will be there for
him, always, as my mother was for me.
This
is my tribute to my mom as I seek to become a good mother to my son.
The word of the Lord that came to me on the night just before Mom went home to
Him was from Job chapter 1 verse 21.
"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the
Lord"
Even after all these years, I still hear intriguing accounts of my mom from my older siblings, from the times before I was born. The most recent is from my brother, it is unbelievable but true for he saw it with his own eyes as an 11 year old boy. One night, there was a commotion at our chicken coop caused by a python as big as a man's thigh that had entered in. My dad got his shot gun out, and with my mom and their young son, went running to stop it from eating the hens. Instead of waiting for dad to shoot, my mom had slided in first to catch it! And quick as a flash, the python had wrapped itself around her... the unthinkable had happened! With her quick thinking, she remembered her own dad's advice to bite it's tail when in such situations. She did and it let go. Papa managed to shoot it dead only after that. Later a shopkeeper in our small town made it into a meal. This whole episode took place more than 50 years ago. Wow, it feels like this sort of thing could only happen in a story book! When my brother related it to me, I was incredulous at first but believed him and couldn't help laughing and thinking...what an incredible, brave and fiesty mother I had. By the time I came along, she must have already mellowed a lot because she was much older then. Yet still that spark was still there, I could see and experienced it myself.
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