a dual reality of life

Together with many around the world, we feel deep sorrow for those who were brutally killed in the recent days and months past; individuals of different countries caught in the middle of a horrifying war for political power.

They were people just like you and I. And like many of us, they had family and friends who had loved and cared for them, and who now must be experiencing unimaginable grief for their loss. To loose someone through sickness is not easy but to have a loved one's life taken in the manner of beheadings and being burnt alive must be intolerably painful and incredibly difficult to deal with. What does it feel like to imagine the horror of what their loved ones were going through when facing such a cruel end to their lives? It is sickening, it is sheer evil. That's how I feel and that's what it is.

Our world is not getting any better. Bad news is escalating and it's everywhere. Just today, in one day, we have heard of the death of the Jordanian pilot, the Taiwan plane crash, and the New York train crash, and that's not taking into account other news. I have wept much to see what is happening to our world nowadays. Just in one year only, 2014, we had several plane tragedies. And we hear of natural disasters, rapes, killings, wars, people driven from their homes, suffering children...endless, one after another, we get these reports, and almost immediately too, thanks or no thanks to the internet and television; we hear and see all these within the comfort of our homes.

I am sitting here in front of the TV watching the world news. We have just had dinner, my son is playing his guitar in his room; it's just an ordinary evening, like most evenings, for just an ordinary family. I was also thinking of my next day's responsibilities, my list of to-dos...but I was stopped in my thoughts by how surreal is this ordinariness of our life living in a relatively peaceful city and country as my mind was turning to the happenings outside of my ordinary world.

An ordinary world consisting of one where we just had a housewarming party at a friend's house a few nights ago, and one where we plan to have a family reunion and a classmates reunion during the Chinese New Year period, and one where I go to work daily and go about my normal routine. And I realized more than ever that most of us, if we will just stop and reflect, are actually living a life of dual reality.

That is, the reality of the ordinary, the mundane within our circle of family, friends, community; and also the horrible bigger reality of the world out there. We can't be like the proverbial ostrich deluding ourselves into thinking that those news, those images which our TV screen and internet are showing, are too far away to affect us, and that somehow it will all go away, it will get better...

A friend had said the world is on a slippery slope and I agree. We who are alive at this point in time are going to see things getting worse. Yes, I have wept and I still weep for the many lives lost and affected by terrible events. I weep out of empathy but not because of hopelessness. My tears and heartpain are in prayers to my God, the One who created the earth and its inhabitants. In spite of what's happening around us, I am absolutely convinced He is good and has a timetable for this world. Mankind's beginning, history, present and future are in His hands. Those who do not know Him would not understand this and might be offended by what I am stating, but His Word, the Bible is very clear. It tells us what was, what is and what is to come.

There is a word many Bible believing Christians are saying nowadays, "Maranatha!" which means "The Lord is coming" or "Come, O Lord". Surely, the Lord Jesus is coming back very soon, just as He had promised! That's the hope of all of us who have put our trust in Him. I pray that whoever reading this will seek God while He may be found, and be found in Him when He comes back again, very soon.

of youth, nostalgia and parenting

An odd feeling came over me last night as I waited to pick up my going-on-18 year old son from his college prom at a hotel ballroom. From my driver's seat, I was able to observe the activities at the front entrance; lanky lads in smart suits and pretty blossoming young ladies in their soft flowing gowns; standing, walking, and waiting for their rides home.

It was nearing midnight and my son was still helping out with the organizing committee's wrap-up duties. I settled comfortably in my seat and continued to wait. As there was no nowhere else to focus my eyes on, I naturally looked towards where there were movements and lights. Besides, the surroundings was darker than the ballroom entrance. 

I had to take notice. These college youngsters were either in pairs or on their own. Some struck me as displaying confidence while several seem to be partly stuck in the awkwardness of early teens. Whatever outward impressions I was perceiving, perhaps most of them were similarly struggling in a phase of self-discovery, of finding their identities as individuals. 

As these thoughts were going through my mind, a sudden flash back to many years ago when my friends and I were once like them. Almost the same age, definitely different styles and different eras; but seemingly no different in the uncertainties of youth. Yet perhaps, I might be wrong in this assumption. If my son's mature-beyond-his-years thinking is an indication (sometimes, he surprises me with his evaluation of things), they do not seem to be as naive as we or at least I was, at their age! 

Thinking of the then-and-now differences; my school's sixth form prom was held in our dreary school hall (which later also transformed temporarily into an examinations hall) and our attire, in comparison to what I was seeing from my car seat, was nothing to boast about. I can still remember what I wore that night, so long ago. A pastel green floral patterned mid-length dress made of light cotton material which was a gift from my eldest brother and which I had matched with beige sandals. No make up, no high heels, no fancy clothes, no posh hotel, and certainly, no pairing up.

These reflections were triggered by this waiting for my son, and these observations from my car seat.  It was also because I knew that my former sixth form physics teacher is now a lecturer at my son's college. When I was a student, he was then a fresh university graduate and had seemed awkward and shy himself. Now an elderly man (I saw his unrecognizable picture from the college brochure), he is still, yes you guess it, teaching physics! As my son does not take science course in college, I had told one of his friends who does, that his lecturer was once my teacher. It must be unbelievable for this young man that this same person was teaching the same subject to me at one time and now, to him! And I figure it was hard for him to imagine his friend's mother (me) was once a schoolgirl too!

Anyway, back to my former teacher. I was wondering how he felt being an educationist for so many years, seeing many young people year in and year out. All his former students through the years are now in many kinds of careers but he has remained an educationist....from school teacher to college lecturer. Perhaps he was feeling age has crept in slowly with the passing years and weariness of doing almost the same work for so long? But I would like to think that there is a sense of achievement with the ones he had taught who have gone on to being successful in their chosen careers. In the eyes of the world, careers that are deemed "better" than an educationist. Ah, but that's in the eyes of the world only. 

An educationist is like a parent who considers it a joy when their children do more and beyond what they are able to do themselves. It is the satisfying joy of completing a God-given task. I believe good teachers and good parents want that for the ones entrusted to them for a season; for a limited number of years. Once a student or a child is out there and making an impact in his or her world through whatever work they are doing, the ones who were responsible for them for a time, can say, "I have done well because my student/child has done well."

As I penned these thoughts down in my phone, I saw my son walking towards my car. I knew he will have much to talk to me on the drive home, and I was right.  He is growing up into a fine young man whom I am proud of and very grateful to God for. He is maturing and I have decided I must mature along with him as well. What that means is changing in the way I relate with him through the stages of growth. You know, for many parents, that is not an easy thing to do because by the time we have teenage kids we are already rather set in our own ways. I, for one often fail miserably in this, but if I want to maintain and strengthen the parent and child bond for life, then I do not have an option...............

Oh, by the way, that odd feeling that I had while sitting about forty minutes in the car? It must be waves of nostalgia!